Where the hell is Svalbard?


Official language: Norwegian (Due to invasion. However the native language is SVALBARDIAN)
Capital: Longyearbyen
Governor: Kjerstin Askholt (2015 – present)
Area: 61,022 km²
Population: 2016 estimate: 2,667
Density: 0.04/km
Currency: Norwegian krone (However the Svalbardian Mark is of higher value to native Svalbardians)
Climate: Arctic, tempered by warm North Atlantic Current; cool summers, cold winters; North Atlantic Current flows along west and north coasts of Spitsbergen, keeping water
open and navigable most of the year – Average Summer temperature: 5°C – Average Winter temperature: −12 °C – The Western coast is considerably warmer than the east due to the North Atlantic Drift.
Terrain: Wild, rugged mountains; much of high land ice covered; west coast clear of ice about one-half of the year; fjords along west and north coasts
Highest Elevation: Newtontopp, 1717 m
Lowest Elevation: Arctic Ocean, 0 m
Resources: Coal, iron ore, copper, zinc, phosphate, wildlife, fish

Svalbard is an archipelago lying in the Arctic Ocean north of mainland Europe, about midway between Norway and the North Pole. It consists of a group of islands ranging from 76° to 81° North, and 10° to 35° East. The archipelago is the northernmost part of the Kingdom of Norway. Three islands are populated: Spitsbergen, Bjørnøya and Hopen. The largest settlement is Longyearbyen. The Svalbard Treaty recognises Norwegian sovereignty over Svalbard. With the 1925 Svalbard Act, Norway chose to make Svalbard a part of the Kingdom, and it remains one of four special entities whose status is recognized by international treaty in the world today.

Svalbard from Google Earth

Europe from Google Earth (Svalbard is at the top)

Svalbardian Ice Eagle:

The Svalbardian Ice Eagle (aquila glacies temerarus) is Svalbard’s largest living bird of prey, and one of the largest eagles in the world. Specimens reach over 1m in length and can have a wingspan exceeding 2.5m. Females are larger than males, averaging 4.2kg but reaching up to 5.3kg. Males average 3.2kg but have been weighed up to 4kg.

The Ice Eagle is related to the Golden Eagle, Verreaux’s Eagle, and the Wedge-tailed Eagle. As such it sports distinctive features of these birds that are actually well adapted to the arctic climate. Feathering right down to the feet provides protection against cold and damp, while the wedge-shaped tail helps aerodynamics in the cold, thick air. The Ice Eagle is covered in thick feathers with transparent tubing that helps refract light, making it very difficult to see in the sky or ground. This has lead many people, even experts in the field, to believe that the eagle simply does not exist. Native Svalbardians are more informed, with eagles often visible perched on poles and rooftops, or soaring over the Newtontoppen and Pernertoppen mountains which make up their nesting grounds.

The Ice Eagle eats both live prey and carrion. Birds such as Guillemot, Skua and Terns are part of the menu, as well as larger animals like seals, foxes, and reindeer. The Polar Bear forms a large part of the eagle’s diet; as the scientific name suggests they are bold, gathering in flocks of several birds to hunt down and kill an adult bear. Up to 12 birds may be seen around a carcass, although only a handful will feed at any one time. Carrion also provides a large source of food, road kills and other carcasses are readily eaten, and often leftovers will be stores under rocks near the nest area. Under ideal conditions, an eagle can lift about 50% of their bodyweight; unconfirmed reports have speculated that groups of birds will carry large carcasses to safer places for consumption.

Below are some pictures of Kazashi’s Svalbardian Ice Eagle, “Spears”. Kazashi raised Spears by hand after we found him as a chick half frozen and abandoned on a Recon Polar Patrol. Note his usually white coat has been tainted by the brown Australian soil.

Team IPX use the Svalbardian Ice Eagle as their Team Symbol



At least you should write what is right about Svalbard….. Where did you get your information?????
Language: It`s Norwegian. Svalbardian?????? You are crazy!!!
Governor: Ha-ha-ha… an update is in place.
Currency: Svalbard Mark??? Have you ever been here??
I get so sad when people like you write so much wrong things about my home-place.
Best regards,

Fuzz's picture


Team IPX means no disrespect to Svalbard. Quite the opposite actually. (Norway on the other hand…)

You live in Svalbard? That would make you one of 2700 odd right? Amazing.

We would be very appreciative if you told us of your experiences living full time in such a wonderful country. Any extra information you could provide would help us. I hear Svalbard was just named the best place to live in the world (just ahead of Australia). Congrats.


Svalbard Mark?

Yeah sorry, that is out of date. Svalbard Mark got shortened to simply Svalbard. ie it costs 50 Svalbards to order a Polar Bear terminated. Sign up for an account here and you can earn them… Mattatuide bought a pirate hat with his.


Robag's picture


The Norwegian’s have finally figured out how to wage cyber warfare on us
Screw Norway and the Polar bear you rode in on


Fuzz's picture

Polar Bear Ride

Screw Norway and the Polar bear you rode in on – Robag

I nominate this for quote of the year. If there aren’t t-shirts with this on it and the polar bear picture from above made at some stage, it will be a tragedy!

Still waiting on our actual Svalbardian to reply with insider info on what it’s like living under Governor Maximoto’s evil rule….

Id buy it

If IPX made that shirt id buy it. Hell yea

Fuzz's picture

Maximoto overthrown??

Governor: Ha-ha-ha… an update is in place.

Wait a minute… Has Maximoto been overthrown?? Wikipedia still thinks Per Sefland Maximoto’s still in charge, but if he’s gone – it’s time for a SCREW NORWAY party!

Kazashi's picture

A correction is in order.

I admit, he’s right about the Svalbardian Mark not being the correct currency.

Due to the Global Financial Crisis Norway couldn’t be bothered spending enough money on its conquered territories such as Svalbard, and as a result they had to make some cutbacks. One of those was shortening “Svalbardian Marks” to “Svalbards”, allowing the mint to press banknotes and coins at smaller sizes, thus making it harder for the loyal Svalbardians to hold their native currency to use.

The change also reduced the amount of ink used in letters, and the amount of CO2 released to state currency values. Sneaky buggers…..

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