To all the girls out there Rayne Miss mattuide ;)
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it’s better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies … (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Comments
disagree
6. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. – a hot chick is a hot chick.cartoon characters are way hotter than real life ppl i would totaly turn gay for them
9. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.- you havent seen me dance
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies … (you get the point). – i must have been with the wrong ppl
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. – sif
15. We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves. – only to amuse others
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. – rly?
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. – G……………P………….S
ALSO ITS MRS mattAtuide just so you know
Advantages of Being a Man
1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your last name stays put.
3. The garage is all yours.
4. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
5. Chocolate is just another snack.
6. You can be president.
7. Foreplay is optional.
8. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
9. You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
10. The world is your urinal.
11. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
12. Same work … more pay.
13. Wrinkles add character.
14. You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
15. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
16. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
17. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
18. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
19 New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
20. One mood, ALL the damn time.
21. Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
22. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
23. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
24. You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
25. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
26. You can kill your own food.
27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
28. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
31. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
32. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”
33. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
34. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
35. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
36. You almost never have strap problems in public.
37. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
38. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
39. You don’t have to shave below your neck.
40. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
41. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
42. You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
43. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
the list is endless…
nice one willow
hahah even better willow soz mrs mattuide
I like 10
R s0 many Laughs, I think 26, 28 & 39 was sum highlights but 10 is s0 LOL
n0mad
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